Gaz-FunkyFresh Night 1

What up Buttpuppets!

The Gazinator here with some Mr. Spooktastic campfire stories fo' all da lil' chillins. On a dark and still night in a old and haunted farm house. In the middle of a Children of the Corn style corn field. Jack Gazwowski sat at his computer typing into the night..... bored out of his fucking gord!!!! Ok so I totally thought this was like going to be awsome. right. but like everyone here is like a total buzzkill. K. I'm gonna beak down for yall. #1 They all act like this shit is real. I mean come on people. haven't you ever seen the original haunted hill. This is a fear experiment dudes. Stop peeing your panties man the house is rigged. Which is awsome btw. #2 No one here parties dudes. And they frickin go to bed at like 9 o'clock. I'm like ghost hunting with the frickin Osmonds. First There's the hot little bitchy girl who can only comunicate by rolling her eyes. She invited me up and smell her room. Don't ask me dudes I've never undersood women. Next there's this Slick as shit badass dude who's like a CSI or somthing. He's all metro and shit and has fucked up nightmares. Aside from the nightmares the dude is all Johnny Depp smooth But Johnny Would have totally toked out with me. People who don't smoke out are just asking for life to be hard. One hit of the Whacky Tobacky and Johnny Slick would sleep like a fucking baby but what do I know he probably gets laid like all the fucking time. Next there's this EMT guy who is there to make sure we don't die and shit. Me I think he's just here to freak us out more. Ahh man wouldn't it be awsome i he was the fricken professor doing the study on us all frickin Jigsaw style. like in the end he all gets up and is like this was all a scam but noone can ever find out! and like locks us in a basement and like makes us like cut off our fucking feet and shit. Dude... I need to watch that guy. Ohh fuck I just typed that and he could read this and fucking take me out. Where's the fucking backspace button on this thing. Man Am I stoned. ... Then there is this hot Gothy girl as if that wasn't a horror movie cliche' that dudes like me wackit to all the frickin time. Wait! What if this shit's being put on fucking Youtube and shit. All fucking Big Brother style. I was just joking up there about the whole weed smoking thing. Those are just cigarettes that i'm smoking on camera. Fuck I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get more of that chicken.............
Ok I'm back. Where was i ...ok Goth Chick. I would totally hit on that but I don't hit on Goth girls since Nixon Suicide kicked me in the beans at a Toadies concert 2 years ago. Besides I think she's totally fucking Johnny Slick. Then the shinning hope of this Horror story Doc Joe. Doc Joe is like this badass ghost hunter dude and homeboy knows how to party. Dude parties and hunts ghosts. how fucking awsome is that. Dude I wonder if he believes in our underwater ally Nessie. I'll ask tommorrow. Dude what if he's a ghost. What if their all ghosts. Dude I'm Freaking myself out. I'm Gunna go make some pancakes.